Challenging week

I'm going to warn you that this is not one of those encouraging blogs, this is a true to life blog of how a summer missionary cannot forget to be on mission and how God can still retrieve the week and bring good out of it.

This past week, my 8th, has been the only really rough week. For the previous 7 weeks I had rough days, but never many days in a road. But as much as I was uncomfortable and really struggling to smile and be optimistic, God taught me more in this one week than the any other.

On Sunday night I was told that my best friend's mother was diagnosed with Breast Cancer - I cried for two days. But by watching my friend be strong and never once doubt God or becoming angry at him, I learned faith. God showed me how far I still have to go to have the faith that I need. I learned that I am in control of how much faith I have. I just needed to decided that Ms. Jill was going to be okay, and she would be. It took a day or two, but I finally had my heart in the right place. My faith grew by leaps in bounds.

On Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, I was late to camp. I was 5 minutes, 15 minutes, and then 45 minutes late for camp. I was so frustrated with myself, and the circumstances outside of my control that made me late, that each day was hard to face. Then the adults I was helping with the VBS were disrespectful to me, treating me as a irresponsible and incompetent person. It took all I had in me not to cry or lash back. I started the day out with the wrong attitude, and I'm ashamed to say that it took me most of the day to set it right again. After camp I would seek out God with all my heart, like I never have before and he would make my heart right.
However by the end of the week I was so uncomfortable and so unhappy at my ministry site that I became a Martha, only focusing on the things that needed to be done, rather than the souls that needed to be saved. I finally faced this fact about my behavior and attitude on Friday, and bawled as I apologized to all my fellow missionaries. I had learned my lesson, the hard way, but still learned it. I will never again pass up opportunities, and fail those wonderful children by depriving them of what they need most.

On Friday I recieved a speeding ticket while doing a favor for the lady I was working under. I was more than embarrased, I was distraught when the officer handed me the ticket. I had no clue that I was driving that fast, but I knew that I had earned the ticket one way or another. I held back tears, and prayed to God to help me through it. I finally concluded that I should just pay the ticket, whatever the price, and then vowed to God to no longer allow myself to speed. I will pay more attention to my speed not break the law again.

Mrs. Jill's surgery went well, she's home without pain or nasuea. My speeding ticket was only $80 and I was actually 20 minutes early the last two mornings of the week. God is good all the time. All the time, God is good!